#like wdym this is MID
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Everytime I’m reminded of the absolute Daddy that is Keegan’s VA, I lose my mind a little
Brian Bloom SAVE US!!!!😩🙏🏼
#call of duty ghosts#cod ghosts#keegan russ call of duty#keegan russ cod#cod keegan#call of duty keegan#keegan russ#keegan p russ#brian bloom#the beard is insaneeeee I can’t#look at him rn#wdym you’re mid 50s lookin like that??#he’s haunting me with his eyes tbh#gunnrblze rambles
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Also sorry i havent been drawing much lately 😭
#i come from classes being exhausted…i forget we are just passing mid-term#like wdym im already halfway through..so I just come home and lay down#and scroll on insta…i should stop that but also lately I haven’t had ideas on what to draw#still working on the comic!! but it is slower#i should ask for drawing requests sometime#just to exercise yknow#also completely unrelated but i decided to watch bride of discord for the fun of it#omitting THAT part I think 12/13 year old me wouldve gobbled this up#also ive been writing chapter summaries of my au and i want to challenge myself how far I can go#currently i just finished w chapter 8’s summary#also sorry idk why im just ranting here#txt
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bangtan math is counting one year as two and if u sneeze on a weekday then 10 more months get added to your age
#LIKE WDYM MID 30S BISH YOU JUST TURNED 31 😭😭😭#seokjin#jin#bts jin#kim seokjin#bangtan#bts#taechnological#bts funny
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Randomly remembered 5 years ago in my former too big too empty not heated Aix en Provence apartment when I would boot up Skyrim w 250+ mods to stay warm #girltips
#being 17/18 in my first apartment living like an animal <3#I remember the the sickening smell of fried food from the restaurant just below#and the dead rat in my stairs with whom I felt a kinship like it was yesterday-#also fun fact I had stopped having warm water like mid January jdkddk and ended up having it fixed like a few days before the first lockdow#also time sure isn't real fjfkdk wdym it's been 5 years since covid my skyrim addiction and preparatory class ??#insomnia posting#skyrim#not art
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sending invites out for a destination wedding 2 months in advance is wild hfjdsdkgjdjhsdf
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personally i think october should last at least three months
#★#autumn in general always seems to go by so quickly#too quickly :(#like wdym its mid october ??? wdym november is in two weeks ??? what happened to september ???
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going through slime vods i missed and this is my personal goo goobie now
#everything about it is so funny#the fact that that’s his genuine reaction to that situation#the way he says HEEEALP#the sounds the slime moving makes#the way his character moves when it rag dolls#the way he just clears his throat after like he was about to just move on#ranboos pov where charlie is just mid sentence and starts screaming this for no reason#ranboos wdym you goopie big?? nO…..#charlie realizing what he said and just laughing repeating it instead of explaining#charlie slimecicle#he goopied too close to the sun
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goodmorning i miss jose
#xelle.gush#isn't it funny how you rare it is for a self shipper to have jose as a f/o aaehgjhejrkfj... (<- wants to be known as the jose self shipper)#/lh ofc but it'd be nice 😳#wait i skimmed through his wiki and there's a lot of lore added holy shit????#i finally know which survivors he teamed up with#AND OF COURSE HE WENT WITH BOAT AS A CODENAME HASIDVWIWBHAIABJSIFOF I LOVE THIS MAN#i already knew it was wu cha.ng he went up against. he appeared in jose's trailer + jose's backstory mentions him coming to the manor in-#-the search of an umbrella#but it's nice to have it confirmed#WDYM HE'S IN HIS 20'S????#THAT MF LOOKS LIKE IN HIS MID 30'S AT LEAST#I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS AUAUSVGAIAVAISBDJFK#'my destiny has long been merged with the sea. perhaps the ocean is the best home for my family.'#OH MY GOODDDDDD??????#JOSEEEKEIEJEIEJRJR???!????!#this man is so obsessed with the sea (so am i)#i know i haven't been giving him attention lately but i still love him and i fall in love every time i see him 😍🙏#r!fo: jose
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just found out one of the enhypen boys who i believed was 16 or summ is actually my age WTFFFF youre a 20 yr old minor tf are you doing in a kpop group you should be chilling and unwinding
#as awful as it may sound im desensitized to seeing a 15 yr old going through their fourth nose job on inkigayo im used to it#but seeing someone my age sends a shiver down my spine bc that could be mee thankfully not but shits soo scary#and hes not even the youngest either i feel sick.. actually all the enhypen boys are way too fucking young wdym the oldest is 22 ????? HUH?#the youngest being 17 doesnt shock me for some reason but the oldest should be in his mid thirties im sorry thats how i was raised#and theyre all gonna age horribly too heeseungs only 22 and has new eyelids new veneers new nose new chin every 3 months likee#no 20 yr old face should be put through all that and none of them are safe thats whats crazy about this they all look unnatural asf#i know their face dysmorphia goes crazy bc constantly getting implants and botox since youre 18 is insane
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23 is such a weird age for me because i feel like i've been in my twenties for 20 years (probably bc of covid) but also there is still so much twenties left but also i feel so much older than i did at 21 or even 22 (probably bc of the Trauma) so i don't feel like i'm in my early twenties the same way i was before esp knowing that i'll turn 24 next year which feels like such a step up compared to 22 -> 23 (to me!!!) because it's so close to 25.....i feel like i've been alive for a thousand years and was also born yesterday
#when i talk about getting older its positive btw i cant waittt to be in my thirties and flirty about it#i feel like im between early and mid twenties and mid twenties feels like AHHH but in an exciting way#also this is not abt the whole myth that your brain fully develops at 25 but#i feel...like my brain and psyche feels different than it did at 22 and i think its a combo of what i learnt from grief#but also just my brain getting older LOL im like wait....things feel a little bit clearer#23 is so crazy like wdym im older than felix and dorothy are in rr. i mean by 1-2 years but still#IM LOVER BOY FELIX'S AGE??? HE'S 23??? and dorothy and beau but im on felix mode lately#does anyone else have this thing where they look at characters the same age as them#and youre like wtf you are so young.....#then you're like WAIT im also so young...like its more obviously how young early 20s is when you see it in someone else#like felix and beau and dorothy etc are so young!!!!
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the miraculous movie made me so sad. not because it was sad but because it made me realize y'all have stockholm syndrome and need to be freed from this fandom 😭
#WDYM THE MOVIE IS GOOD#i need yall to watch smth taht is genuinely good#because that movie was mid at best#and yall r acting like its the best thing ever made#ive only seen a few episodes of the show#but if the movie is the best thing to come out of miraculous#i will definitely steer clear#miraculous ladybug#cloud just says shit
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what do people do when they're not hot like
#what is life like not being stunningly gorgeous#wdym you won't shave your head#wdym you won't bleach your eyebrows#i don't understand things because sometimes i'm too hot to have a certain problem#be reasonable#u expect me to relate to mid people problems
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also bc theres no way im getting both first banners in hsr ..... i will probably be pulling for jingyuan and skipping seele..... im sorry babygirl but Well idk if she has her dissociative disorder in star rail + im gonna pull for HoD seele in hi3 and auwuhdgudgh jingyuan sexy...... i want him and welt and luocha so bad. unfortunately do not give a fuck abt blade i literally do not get his hype hes just bborring to me maybe itll change when i play...... im still coping for a seele expy in genshin like Crying why is alleged focalors a sin mal expy please pelase pelase i need bronseele in genshin so bad
#OH SILVER WOLF TOO <3333 bronie my bronie......#fucked up fr that bronyas surname is rand btw. and that she isnt voiced by hanser in cn#LIKE WDYM..... SHES SILVERWING BRAH#kafka is ok + she has yelans cn va LOLOLOL but idk how i feel abt her. pretty i guess#idgaf abt gepard or sampo either L#i like sushang :) and uhhh#the fish girl#dont care for serval either shes mid#i like herta too. and danheng ofc hes so sexy to me...........#dont care for himeko either like rip girl hope u dont die again
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i don’t do well with the passing of time, or at least the thought of it, bc rn i’m so nauseous that i could throw up
#like wdym i’m in my mid/late 20’s now??? wtf???#wdym i’m not in college anymore?#…i did everything ‘right’ in life and yet i still ended up how i did#and now i’m so nauseous that i could actually throw up
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I'm increasingly confused at how my friends perceive me
#like wdym I “know what to say” bestie im not even aware of my own thoughts 90% of the time#You have personally witnessed the social equivalent of me face planting mid conversation before
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#recs
this didn’t fit anymore lmao😭
try again
part 0.11. HERE TO STAY
“on the other side of the wall, she’s listening to her client with a smile on her face. she’s a professional; she’s been trained to multitask and take notes while still listening and providing feedback to her clients. right now, she’s clicking off a tab back to the one filled with bullet points on things her client has said. she always knows when he arrives. she hears the left door open, which she knows because it squeaks more than the one on the right. he always uses the left door (she thinks it has something to do with the fact that more people touch the handle of the right door on their way in) and his paces are always steady down the creaky hallway. her last sign that he's here is the chair he sits in every time, the one right next to the door into her rooms. the legs are the slightest bit uneven and the back of the chair will lightly tap against the wall as its way of letting her know of her welcome guest. she already has her queue of songs up. she’s always hated her thin walls until he started coming in. a lot has changed in her life since he's come back, hasn't it?"
content warnings: the big finale which isn't that dramatic! i'm sorry for my bad writing! y/n dad reveal! breaking news: her dad is an asshole! tad bit of violence, one mention of blood and also just cursing and abusive fathers </3
he insists on paying and she doesn’t argue with him about it for long; she’ll have countless more opportunities to steal the check from him, she hopes.
she feels better when she's finally eaten after a day of nervous nausea and time spent anxiously bouncing her knee. on top of that, she’d been with him for the majority of the day, distracting her from what had happened in the morning. he even listened to her issues, and she’s finally starting to believe the promise that he’s here to stay.
they’ve just stepped off the train, and her apartment building is only a few minutes away. he walks alongside her the entire time, their arms brushing each other ever so often. whether it’s on purpose or not, neither of them will fess up.
he’s only distracted from his time spent mindlessly reaching his arm out just the slightest bit more to hit hers ever so often when he feels a buzz in his pocket. he slips out his phone quickly to check its screen:
akaashi’s a moment too late, because they’ve just made it up the stairs to her floor.
she’s already seen him, and he’s already seen her.
she wants to puke.
he’s there, arguing with iwaizumi outside their door. his sunken eyes and gaunt face make her stomach twist with guilt, but a brush from omi’s knuckles reminds her where she is again. it’s not her job to take care of him. it never was, and it never will be.
"you," the man is pointing a finger towards her, stumbling forward and she immediately shrinks back like a shriveling flower, losing her confidence. omi's already standing in front of her without even thinking about it, putting a barrier between the two.
the old man keeps talking as if he can see right through him, though “you’re a disrespectful worthless piece of shit, you know that? can’t ever in your life put even a single person about yourself. here you are living with a bunch of boys. what are you, a whore? do you suck them off so they’ll keep the bad guys away? they’re doing a shit job at it. i’m standing here after, all, aren’t i?”
“it’s not like that,” her voice is quiet and weak, and she’s not even sure it makes it to the man’s ears.
“you can’t think about anyone else. you're too selfish. you won’t even answer your own father’s calls much less say anything to him at all–”
“i told you to back off!” her voice comes out loud this time, louder than she means for it to, “i’ve told you to back off so many times but you just don’t listen,” she steps out from behind omi, standing next to him instead while the man in front of them stops at the sound of her voice, “these are my roommates and my closest friends. i'm living with them because they genuinely care about me and aren't using me for any purpose, something you can't even dream about. the only reason you’re still standing here is that they have enough self-control and respect for me that they won't beat up the man i regrettably call my father.”
omi’s gaze slides over to hers, trying to see if she’ll meet his eyes. he’s simultaneously trying to communicate how proud of her he is and let her know that he'll support her no matter what happens.
“take that back,” her father spits, starting to curl his fingers into a fist. she stays silent, and his face begins to flush an angry red. “you’re only proving my point. you’re just an ungreatful little girl who thinks she no longer has to care about anyone else because she's older. i took care of you your whole life and i will not have you ignoring me for the rest of my fucking life!” the smell of beer invades her senses as he steps closer.
“you did jackshit in my life! you never helped me with anything I asked you to. never bought me anything i needed, you've never cared about me. i’ve grown up and moved out. i can do whatever i damn please and i told you to leave me alone. maybe if you respected me i wouldn't ignore you, but that's impossible for you,” she retorts, standing her ground.
“don’t you fucking talk to me like that–” he nears her, only a few steps between them and she starts to feel the panic in her chest, “your stubbornness is the reason your mother left–”
“my stubbornness?” she can’t help but fight back. that’s what separates her from her past self. her younger self ran away, left home as soon as she could to live on her own, but now she’s grown into who she is today, and she won’t let him ruin that. “you treated your wife like shit and refused to change no matter how many times she screamed and argued with you right in front of me about how horrible you were. you've never fixed anything because you’re so stuck up and think you’re so high and mighty that she decided to pack up her bags and leave–”
“then why did she leave you behind too?”
it’s like her heart stops beating for a second. her blood runs cold before her vision is a blur and the face of the man is crushed right in front of her, sending him to the ground groaning. his hand is covering his nose, preventing her from seeing how badly damaged it is, but she can’t find it in her to care.
“don’t blame her for your faults. grow up and take responsibility for your shit. she deserved better than either of you,” omi is talking down on the man now, and she looks up from her father’s body to the fist of the boy beside her, bruised and a little red.
he’s been by her side since day one, and maybe he disappeared for a section of it, but now he’s back. they're back together, and she stands proudly beside him, “she left me too, but i can’t be mad at her for being sick of you. or us. whatever it is, you’re both selfish and her absence nor yours is something i’m mourning over. i’m happy to have left you too and for the last time, i never want to see you again”
iwaizumi has joined them, standing above the man, no trace of sympathy in his eyes despite the blood that's streaking down her father's face. he tries to get up, only for iwaizumi to keep him down on the ground with a foot on his shoulder, “you heard her. don’t ever show your fucking face around here again. i’ll kill you the moment i lay eyes on you.” iwaizumi’s olive eyes move from the ground to meet hers, slightly softening when he sees her, “are you done with him? i’ll make sure he gets out of here and stays away for good.”
omi’s words from the diner rush back to her head, and she doesn’t feel so bad for relying on her friend. she believes he's willing to help her, and she won’t let her father’s words get to her head. she’s cared for others, unlike him, and developed relationships that she’s earned by giving out her own love. “yeah, i’m done,” her voice is quiet again as she keeps looking at her friend, searching his eyes for any sort of annoyance. but she can’t find any, and she smiles, walking towards him, wrapping her arms around him. “thank you, iwaizumi.”
he has an arm around her shoulders, his foot still resting on her father. “always,” he replies simply before she leaves him embrace, gesturing for omi to follow her. “i’m going to take care of his fist, now.”
iwaizumi only nods, turning his attention back to the man on the ground omi following his gaze as he passes by. iwaizumi will do more than a good enough job at keeping his word, he knows that, but he feels like he should have some part in taking care of the man whose plagued the girl in front of him for her entire life.
but she hasn’t asked him to take care of the man in front of her, and he knows its not his place. she knows she does not resent the man to the point that she wishes harm upon him, she simply wishes that he would leave her alone. and iwaizumi will make sure that wish is honored, and omi should be satisfied with the hit he landed on the man’s nose.
before her hand can even reach the knob of the door, it swings open and she’s pulled inside by the arms of a black-haired man who he recognizes to be akaashi. kita is standing beside him, a hand on [y/n]’s shoulder as they both check on her for any injuries or harm.
he hasn’t seen kita since his days in high school when he was the captain of inarizaki; atsumu told him he had moved out to the countryside but he must have come back after some time. he feels like a weight is lifted off his chest at the sight of her in the arms of his roomates, and he knows that she is cared for. that she has found her people, just like he told her earlier that night, and he hopes that she’s starting to accept his words as the truth.
he’s happy just watching her from afar, but she breaks apart from akaashi’s hug to gesture him in, and kita shuts the door behind him. “omi, this way,” she says with a smile on her face, beckoning him with a hand.
it’s the first time she’s called him by that old name since high school, and he thinks he’s falling even harder for her if that’s possible. she makes him sit on a stool in the kitchen while she searches her cabinets and a nearby closet for medical supplies. she’s begun to apply an ointment to his hand when he opens his mouth, “i can’t believe you think your roomates would ever leave you. look at how they all came to make sure you were okay. mine are one fight away from starting to vote people to kick out of the apartment nearly every week.”
she laughs at his comment, unwrapping a roll of bandages, “i’m sure no one would ever vote for you if that happened, but i guess you’re right, they’re pretty good, aren’t they?”
he nods, watching her face while she’s focused on his hand, “are you doing okay?”
she hums back in response, “yeah. the thing about my mom leaving me behind too kind of stung, but i don’t think life would’ve been any better with her, so it shouldn’t really hurt that bad. i’ll be okay. what you said at the diner really helped, you know. i feel like I can trust myself to say what i'm thinking rather than being scared i'm wrong or selfish. i can trust that it's not egotistical to believe my roomates don’t actually hate me. and that you don’t hate me. so i feel like i’ve finally escaped the weight of my dad’s words always crushing me and playing down anything i do.”
he reaches a hand up with his uninjured hand to wipe away tears from her face she didn't even realize were falling. and then he keeps his hand there, caressing the side of her face. “i don’t hate you, i never have. this entire time…how i feel about you is quite the opposite,” the words are slightly too intimate for him and as soon as they escape his mouth, it becomes hard to swallow and his face feels a little hot, but he doesn’t remove the hand from her cheek. he opts to say something more neutral next, “you did well, talking back down to him. i think you could’ve taken him down yourself.”
she chuckles at that, tying a knot to finish his bandage, “that’s what you think, but i’m sure i’d break my thumb or something. and if i have a hot man to defend me? i’m not lifting a finger.”
“you think i’m hot?” he says with a smile.
her cheeks grow warm under his hand, but she can’t look or move away from him, “i’m pretty sure thousands of people think so. it’s like a fact; newspapers can make money off of just having your face on the front page even if they barely mention you or don’t focus on sports at all.”
“well none of that matters,” he’s smiling softly now, and she’s still looking into his dark-colored eyes, hands holding his wrapped hand, “it just matters what you think.”
“what i think?” she repeats. and maybe it’s the adrenaline from the encounter they just had, or his boldness rubbing off on her in this current moment, but her next words come out clear and confident, “i think i love you, and i have for years. even when you left, i never stopped loving you.”
“i’m gonna make up for those years, you know,” he whispers back, pulling her by the sides to stand between his legs, bringing her closer. “i know i love you. i’d be a fool not to. and i loved you back then in high school too, even if i didn’t know it. i swear, losing you made me realize how much i took you for granted and everything became clear. letting you disappear was the worst mistake i ever made. i’ll make up for that lost time. make it up to you to the the point that you’re sick of me and you forget we were ever even separated for a time in our lives.”
“oh? and how are you gonna do that?” there’s a breathless feeling growing inside of her chest, where her heart beating fast with his confession and the way she's allowing him to pull her face close to this.
“starting with this,” his breath is hot against her lips before he closes the gap between them, and she’s kissing him back. she doesn't mourn or wish for the past, or for anything to change. he's come back and that's all that matters. she's happy with the word again. she likes it better than a phrase like "we fell in love at first sight." instead, she can say, "we met again. we fell in love again.
"we tried again."
it sounds like a story that reminds people endings aren't set in stone. she likes it.
.
.
.
“by the way, have you been playing songs for me in your lounge room when i’m waiting for you?”
“oh, you noticed?”
.
.
.
"the more you love your friends the more their features start to blur until all you remember is a pair of warm, welcoming eyes and laughter that feels like home."
prev. | m.list
extras <3
this is the end! thank you for reading try again <3
that last little quote is something i should've included like two chapters ago but it got lost in my gallery so here it is now <3
y/n's a good therapist i swear!!! she takes like one second to hit a play on a spotify playlist she's not playing games on her computer for entire sessions 😭
this is all i have tbh! i hope you enjoyed a little bit of this story <3 thank you so so much for being along on this ride w me!!
taglist: @eggyrocks @wyrcan @guitarstringed-scars @strawberryuri @violetesensou @kakeru-eem @glmge @heytheredemonsss @mollyrolls @bemebiu @daszy @snail-squasher @0moonii @thiisisntlovely @todorokiskitten @rory-cakes @iiwaijime @iatethemochi @yuminako @savemebrazilhinata @kismyscars @bokutoko @nobodybutnnoorr @wolffmaiden @daisy-room @softpia @lees-chaotic-brain @v3nusplanetofluv @crispchocolates @phoenix-eclipses @hhoneyhan @encrypta @rockleeisbaeeee @cr4yolaas @zombriesworld @localgaytrainwreck @moucheslove @hibernatinghamster @notverymarley @certaindreampost @akaakeis @ciderscape @lucien-luna @strawbrinkofdeath @wave2mia @samuel1004 @01trickster10 @dazqa @cosmiicdust @chemiru
#i hope 30 tags will be enough for this ness because !!! oh my god !!! this chapter !!! this ending !!! is so incredibly beautiful I love it!#like wdym this is MID ????? NO !!!! I felt so many emotions when I read this you wouldn’t even know#starting off strong with#“what are you a whore? do you suck them off [...]?” UHM NESS ??? MY JAW DROPPED ???? LIKE IT D R O P P E D#and then yn's part with “[...] but you just dont listen” I could practically feel and hear her pain#like I think I heard her voice??#“[...] I regrettably call my father” UHM HELLO ??? OMG ??? NESS ??? THAT HIT ME SO HARD I FELT LIKE YN'S DAD WHEN OMI PUNCHED HIM ???????#“your stubborness is the reason your mother left” WHEN I TELL YOU I GASPED !!!!!!! NESS OH MY GOD !!!#I think I never hated a fictional person this much in my entire life holy shit THE AUDACITY ????#omi should've went for a second punch !!!! that man deserves it so bad omg.. and also omi was lowkey hot so like tehee#“I feel like I can trust myself to say what I'm thinking rather than being scared I'm wrong or selfish.” ness dear I think you're#a little to personal now.. like you're hitting a little too close to home and it's crazy how you did this for the second time already#“I can trust that it's not egoistical to believe my roomates don’t actually hate me.” ness honey do you by chance read my diary or sum ???#OH ALSO OMG “you think I'm hot?” OMI YES YES YES JUST THIS QUESTION MADE YOU 1000 TIMES HOTTER !!!!!!!!#“I'm gonna make up for those years you know” ness I wrote those quotes down on a goodnotes page and I literally drew butterflies next to#this quote okay like I'm not joking this gave me lowkey butterflies and made me physically draw them on my ipad#“I *know* I love you” omi can I like kiss you rn and make you my wife ?? and you too ness ?? please ??#“we tried again” NESS I'M SOBBING !!!! CRYING TEARS AND MY HEART IS HEALING BUT ALSO ACHING AT THE SAME TIME !!!#“endings aren't set in stone” BUT THIS ONE IS 😔#jk what I actually wanted to say is that you're lowkey all philosophical rn and it's so gorgeous and touching#like I disassociated (/pos) for a few minutes when I read this because it's just so true and this fic just hit so close to home#it's a little scary tbh#I count “try again” definetly as one of my favorite fics out there simply because it's just so gorgeous and the psychological/philosophical#narrative is just so different from other fics and also so beautiful and kt made me reflect/think about the things in my life more than#before I discovered this fic here in particular. the last few chapters just hit especially so close to home no matter if omi's side or yn's#i just felt a little more seen and heard and a little lighter that there are other people who struggle with the same things as I do and that#i'm not all alone which is something I thought before. I really hold this fic close to my heart and I especially love the ending you chose#and I don’t think its mid or nothing special.. it is very special and incredibly good to me. i'm excited to read more of your works ness#even if it's not as “deep”/“heavy” likr this one since try again has this narrative especially because yn is a therapist. i really really#love this fic <3 i love try again with my whole heart and I'm so glad that I have discovered it alongside you <3
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